The lessons business schools do not teach
Most think Mob guys are drug dealers. Not so.
My young educational years as a mafia wife included the large world of labor unions, war-machine corporations, government agencies, Wall Street, and the Mob. They are all one big happy family – it does not matter if they are Republicans or Democrats.
From age 16 and being married to a mob man, I watched as ruthless strategies, master calculations, and cunning deals became “the business of the day.”
I saw how intriguing deals came down as I cooked big weekend dinners for the bosses who came to our house to watch football and talk strategies. It was about trading favors for this, that, and that. My naïve younger self had no respect.
When I wanted a divorce – it took some years. Fighting over alimony, funds to start over or even child support was not possible as judges and lawyers were merely paid off.
I navigated through years of fear and sleepless nights trying to grow into my own significance, as I had no formal education or work experience.
My education came from years of observing.
Not until after fleeing this marriage did I realize my education served me well as I started over.
Although I had no respect for their business dealings, these guys were some of the best deal-makers out there. Over the years I realized I learned valuable lessons, which I molded into my own style.
I started with zero self-esteem
For years I confronted low self-worth from being ignored along with no moral support.
It’s not empowering to feel like crap because you have no personal power or strength.
This is some serious shit to work on.
Here are some key points I learned
1. Become an expert at reinventing yourself
We will all go through many changes in our lives. Becoming an expert at reinventing yourself is mandatory.
I started by making each step of my new reinvention feel like I won a gold medal.
I say to myself: “Oh dear one, you are growing something so new and special. Just keep going.”
2. I learned it’s best to bet on yourself
I saw the strong self-reliance these deal makers had. They place their bets based on what they can achieve on their own.
You’ll never see them waste away years working in any demeaning way.
They own and buy into their ideas and intentions, even if it is f*cked up.
As they devise strategies and plans, they are never caught up in wasting time and energy. They stay focused and always explore new boundaries.
Starting out I did not think of finding a job. I looked at how I could put a project together.
And, I did. I put a little money down on 10 acres of land in Arizona and built a subdivision. Selling all the lots in one year, I had enough funds to build my own house.
Concurrently, I leased an old airport in the middle of the desert and started a skydiving school.
FREEDOM was my gold — not material things.
3. All your clever solutions will have problems
When I left the trauma — drama, I started my own business ventures — without backing or funding.
I quickly learned that without cash flow, you will have problems right from the beginning. And, for every solution you believe you can solve, there will be problems with those solutions.
Mob men are masters at handling this type of uncertainty. They look at everything as a matter of fact — what is.
Even though they always have money and backing — awareness and positioning is their tool.
Their intuitive thinking is like none other, and their understanding expands as they assess their situation.
They have the where-with-all to navigate in fractions of seconds and they do not buy into fear.
For mob men, solving problems is like an art-form. They form a clear picture of what the challange is, then make a Plan A — B — and C so no matter which way it goes they come out on top.
I learned from this.
4. I learned the art of positioning and the art of leverage
Mob guys spend considerable time positioning and leveraging their business deals.
By backing themselves with many alternatives, no matter which way the deal goes, they come out on top.
They work strategically, which means they can formulate a plan and follow it.
And they never miss new opportunities that are only a glimpse.
Learn to back your position in many different ways
5. When working for others, never take responsibility unless you have the authority to make decisions
Never, do this in any position you hold. This is how Mob guys set people up.
If you take the responsibility and things go wrong (as they always do), and you cannot change what is needed because you have no authority, you become the fall person.
I also learned it is best to never take a title. As soon as you take a title, you are set up to fail.
One example is a consulting project I took to rebuild a wellness retreat for a resort. Over 20 people had been hired — given titles and then all were gone within a few months.
I observed the situation and knew; don’t take a title and the responsibility because no one here is given the authority to make a decision.
They wanted me to be General Manager but I did not take the title. I said I would work the contract but wanted no title. None-the-less, and even more so, everyone considered me the boss.
In the Zen arts, this means leading even though you are behind. You move last but arrive first.
This is your best position.
6. Develop your legend and Brand yourself
Each Mob boss had his own style and power.
Whatever they were well known for was because they were the best at what they did. In a sense, they built their own Brand. It served them well, even if it was for all the wrong reasons.
To do this takes reinventing yourself often. Reinventing yourself continuously helps to break through forming dull habits, which blocks your ability to see.
It is best to practice change even when you don’t believe you need to. It should be a regular part of your Life Plan.
It takes immense self-observation to be different. You need to be alert to it and have the essence to grab an opportunity and work through it.
7. You do so much for others! Now call in the Favors
Through years of watching deal-making schemes, I observed how their mob projects always seemed worked out.
They set up their deals in two ways; they were either providing a favor — or calling in a favor.
Everything was just a phone call away and handled quickly.
No matter who it was; people in government agencies, greedy corporations, or just greedy rich people, everyone could be bought in some way.
It’s all about deciding who gives what — who does what — who owes who and the outcome that is needed.
And what I realized early on is that none of this business was ever done for the good of humanity, or for others outside the circle.
And it still isn’t. It’s the same story.
Vision the good that could happen worldwide very quickly if all these greedy people provided some projects to bring humanity forward instead of hoarding their greedy abundance and ugly self-interests.
What is your project?